Monday, January 23, 2012

Escaping a Cheesy Death and Kumbayah; Part 7


So there we were, trapped in El Stinko’s clutches. I knew we had to do something fast otherwise we would be fish cheese. Considering that El Stinko is so very fond of smelly types of cheeses I figure that fish cheese is an appropriate analogy.

After threatening to kill us and after my dramatic vow to stop at nothing until El Stinko’s wicked plot was foiled, El Stinko continued to laugh insanely, almost uncontrollably.

“Now is our chance,” I whispered to Chrysanthemum.

She nodded looking quite horrified at El Stinko’s blatant display of perverse pleasure at the prospect of killing us.

“I may have something up my sleeve that will help us get out of here,” she whispered back. She closed her eyes and began to squint her face like a sumo wrestler getting ready to pounce. I assumed that she was focusing. She was going to use another part of her powers to help us escape. A long pale blue snake-like vein appeared on her forehead.

“Wow,” I thought.

Lord El Stinko let out a squeal like a stuck pig from the table where he was sitting. I turned to see what was happening just in time to see the pasty white hand of El Stinko disappear under the table for the third time, but this time along with his entire body. Somehow Chris had used her mind powers to push him off of his seat and under the table.

The Wendy Workers who up until this point had been sitting in the background singing Kumbayah… which is an African-American spiritual song from the 1930s. It enjoyed newfound popularity during the folk revival of the 1960s and became a standard campfire song in scouting and nature-oriented organizations.

The song was originally associated with human and spiritual unity, closeness and compassion, and it still is, but more recently it is also cited or alluded to in satirical or cynical ways which suggest false moralizing, hypocrisy, or naively optimistic views of the world and human nature. Just thought I would add this random fact.

Anyway, all of the Wendy Workers came running to their evil master’s aid. It was the perfect distraction.
Gothgora—who as usual had remained ever so silent; had become quite forgotten despite the green coils of stink that bound a very large invisible space in the air—decided to make her move. I saw her bite at the green fumes of stink and begin to consume them.

“No!” I grunted urgently, “don’t eat that, you have no idea where it has been!”

But she slurped up the sickly fumes like spaghetti; she did what she had to do so that I would survive. Using her newly freed hands she silently ripped off the cords from Chris and me in a matter of seconds.

As soon as she was free Chris ran to the table, seized the Crystal ball and the cheese, and we all began to run for our lives.

Clawing his way off of the floor El Stinko cried, “No grab them you fools don’t worry about me grab the children and their giant pink invisible friend!”

But it was too late, we had already vanished through the door. We all linked hands as I closed my eyes turning us all invisible.

I was so happy that I could have sung Kumbayah.


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