Curds of Wrath Part 18

Section of the Curds of Wrath Cheese Factory

“Now it’s your turn to ask a question,” the woman said. She seemed more eager now to answer the questions than she had before.

“Well…” I said. “Let just imagine that somebody happened to have the cheese with the fungus. How could one get rid of it, without causing a biological disaster?”

“An interesting question,” Old Yaga chuckled. “So you do have the cheese after all. I figured that El Stinko wouldn’t spend so much money on a professional assassin just to take out two kids. You are very fortunate to be alive. Champagne isn’t one to let his prey escape so easily.”

I looked down out of embarrassment. Yaga had figured out that we had the cheese much more quickly than I had imagined.

“Not to worry child,” She said. “I have no intentions of helping Lord El Stinko with his smelly cheese. And I’m afraid that you are correct there is no way of getting rid of the cheese without causing a biological disaster.”

“Couldn’t you just destroy it with your magic? Turn it into energy or something?” I asked.

“No, I’m afraid that the fungus is completely impervious to all powers. It is quite harmless, unless you eat it, I’m sure you’ve noticed as you’ve carried it around with you this whole time. However, the fungus can definitely protect itself.”

“There must be some way that we can get rid of it.” I insisted.

“Well…” The old woman pondered, ”there is one way. But you may not like it.”

“Tell me,” I said simply. “We need to get rid of this evil.”

“Very well, if you must be so melodramatic.” Yaga said. “In order to get rid of the cheese, you must cast it into the curd from whence it came.”

“That’s it?” I asked.

“Ah, but here’s where things get a little complicated. That particular cheese mold can only be cultivated once every ten years in The Curds of Wrath.”

“The Curds of Wrath?” I asked questioningly.

“The Curds of Wrath is a giant cheese factory that is found in the underworld of the superior realm. It is the home of all deathly cheeses. All of them can give you absolutely horrible gas.”

“The Superior realm,” I said out loud. The place sounded familiar. I was sure that I had heard Gothgora talking about the superior realm before. She had said something about that that is where all invisible friends come from, or did she say that, that was where they all went after they had died? In any case, I was sure that I had heard of the superior realm before.

“How do we get there?” I asked eagerly.

“Now hold on just a second,” Yaga said. “That’s two questions that you’ve asked already. I think it’s about my turn.”

“Sorry,” I apologized. “Ask your question.”

“Do you have any idea what the underworld is?”

“Ah, sort of,” I said, “isn’t it sort of like heck.”

“That’s a bit of an understatement.” Yaga said. “But yes it’s the worst sort of ‘heck’ that you can imagine: with horrifying beasts that would just as soon eat you on a cracker with that smelly cheese of yours rather than look at you.”

“But if the monster ate it, wouldn’t that get rid of the cheese problem?”

“ Not at all, the mold would only multiply and spread by spore into other foods throughout the superior realm sucking all the powers and magic from that world, and that would mean no more invisible friends for our world and the source of all mystic powers for our power would also cease. You would be doing exactly what Lord El Stinko wants. That is how the fungus propagates by using the feces of animals to…”

“That’s all right I don’t need to know how the fungus manages to uh, propagate,” I said slowly. “However, I do need to know how I can get into the superior realm, how to get past all of the nasty beasts in our way, and most importantly how to get our cheese into the Curds of Wrath.”

The old woman sighed.” It will not be easy,” She said seriously. “But if you think you must go there alone you are mistaken. I’m coming with you!”

To Be Continued…