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My Aunty Victoria and Uncle Robert, married at a young age, or well I suppose at least Uncle Robert married at a young age, in any case their marriage hasn’t been very kind to either them over the years. Despite my feelings of bitterness toward them for having locked me in the cupboard for more than 12 years I decided that I should post them to this blog to give the faceless monsters a face so to speak. My Aunt was very fond of using a wooden switch to beat me when I disobeyed her, and my uncle would merely sit on me and wait until I could no longer breathe. That was before they locked me in the cupboard. Alone in the darkness I waited for my day, the day when I would finally break free. If you ever find yourself locked in a cupboard I suggest counting or multiplying, to pass the long hours of solitude. If you let them the voices in your head will start to convince you that you are actually something that you are not, like a wizard for example or a pony from pony land. I once thought I was a lump of mold cheese and… well that is beside the point.
The giantess named Gothgora, who I mentioned before, discovered of my whereabouts and she devised a cleaver plan to break me out of my solitary confinement. Using shovel and pickax she managed to tunnel—over a period of about 12 years—directly under the house. Imagine my surprise when a giantess in a pink raincoat popped out of the ground practically right in front of me. I thought I had gone insane!
We shared a quick snack of cheese cake, she shared my parents’ true identity and thankfully spirited me away from my depressing existence to the mysterious and magical world of the circus.
Every day I talk with the chief of the circus, he calls it counseling. He likes to wear a nice clean white suit that is oh so very clean. He says that I should call him Doctor Johnston, kind of a strange name for someone who runs a circus if you ask me. Oh well…
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